Yesterdays
by MitchelMussoForever
Summary: "It'd been only two weeks since her death, but it felt like an eternity. Every second without her stretched out infinitely. My heart burned in my chest as I stood there, alone. I needed her, so, so badly. But she was gone."


**Okay, so, I was listening to this song and I got a brainwave, so I wrote this one-shot. It's AU, from Brady's POV**

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"I'm so sorry for your loss," our pastor's wife said, clutching my hand and smiling sympathetically at me.

"Thank you," I told her, smiling back. But as soon as she'd walked past me into the cemetery, the smile slipped from my face and was replaced with the sullen expression I'd been wearing for the past five days, since the crying had stopped. People kept saying that, that they were _sorry _about what had happened, _sorry _that I was all alone, _sorry _that the love of my life was… dead.

It'd been only two weeks since her death, but it felt like an eternity. Every second without her stretched out infinitely. My heart burned in my chest as I stood there, alone. I _needed _her, so, so badly. But she was gone. If only I had gotten sick instead of her! I could remember it all so clearly. One day she'd been fine, and then the next she'd been lying in bed, coughing up blood and screaming in pain. Those screams still haunted my nightmares. I could hear them in the dead of night, calling me, torturing me…

"Brady?"

I turned at the sound of my brother's voice. My triplet brothers, Boomer and Boz, stood beside me, wearing tuxedos and sorrowful expressions.

"Are you okay?" Boomer asked me, looking concerned.

I nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine."

"We're so sorry about Mikayla, bro," Boz said. "She was a really amazing girl."

I nodded again, fighting back tears. "Yeah, she was." I winced at how strained and choked my voice sounded.

"Well, we're here for you," Boomer told me, squeezing my shoulder. "Me and Boz and Lanny too."

"Where is Lanny?" Boz asked, peering around for our younger cousin.

"Uh, I think he's over there eating chips," Boomer said, pointing. "But he's here for you too, Brady."

"Thanks you guys," I said. "I'm so glad you came."

"Of course," Boz said. "We're your brothers, we'll always be here for you, man!"  
"Brady."

I turned around and found myself facing Mikayla's parents, Mason and Eliana Makoola. They'd been there the entire time she'd been sick, of course, since she did live with them, but we hadn't spoken since her death.

"Oh, hello Mr. and Mrs. Makoola," I greeted them, silently praying they wouldn't say anything.

"Hello Brady," Mr. Makoola said cooly.

Mrs. Makoola nodded and the two of them walked right past me.

"Brady."

I turned around _again _and saw my parents standing there.

"Brady." My mother wrapped her arms around me and hugged me tight.

"Mom," I said, hugging her back, my eyes watering.

"I'm so sorry, darling," she whispered in my ear. "I know what she meant to you."

When she released me, my dad clapped me on the back and said, "I'm sorry son. She was an exceptional young woman."

I didn't respond. I just couldn't.

After another round of hugs, my parents, brothers, and cousin left me and headed to the gravesite. About ten minutes later, once everyone had arrived, I followed them out.

"We are gathered here today to mourn the death of Mikayla Ana Makoola," the minister began. "A talented, beautiful, throughly wonderful young lady."

He droned on for about fifteen minutes, then Mikayla's parents said a few words each, then some other relatives and her best friend Candis did the same. After that it was Boomer and Boz's turn.

"Mikayla was my brother's girlfriend, so you'd think I never saw her very much," Boomer began. "But that couldn't be farther from the truth. Mikayla was always over at our place, and she hung out with all of us, not just Brady. And she didn't just hang out either. She helped around the house, she tutored me and Boz, she even cooked sometimes. She was always ready to help me or my brothers or my cousin with pretty much anything, from girl problems to school stuff to stage fright… She did it all. She's always been there for us. She meant a lot to us, all of us. She wasn't just my brother's girlfriend, or even a friend. She was family."

Boz didn't say anything on account of his horrible stage fright, so I was up next. I looked over at my brothers and Lanny, who nodded at me. Well, my brothers did. Lanny was still focusing on his chips. I had something special planned for my last words, something I'd only told them about. I hoped I could do this.

I walked up to the front of the mass of people, sat down on the stool I'd put there, and pulled out my guitar. I heard people start to murmur as I put it on my knee.

"So, some of you know that I like to make music," I said. "I'm a musician. I write songs about the things in my life that change me, and this, this _really _changed me. I don't know how to say my last words, except like this." I started to strum slowly thorough the intro. When I reached the chorus I started to sing.

_Flowers cut and brought inside_

_Black cars in a single line_

_Your family in suits and ties_

_And you're free_

My eyes swept over at the parking lot, where a line of somber black cars was parked, then over the people standing around the gravesite, all in formal wear. I remembered my mom gathering flowers to bring here. Then I looked up at the sky and thought about heaven. She was up there right now. She was _free_.

_The ache I feel inside_

_Is where the life has left your eyes_

_I'm alone for our last goodbye_

_But you're free_

I remembered when she'd died, how I'd looked right into her beautiful brown eyes, but they'd been empty. The sparkle of life had been extinguished. I remembered how her parents had left us alone right before her death, for her final goodbye.

_I remember you like yesterday, yesterday _

_I still can't believe you're gone, oh..._

_I remember you like yesterday, yesterday _

_And until I'm with you, I'll carry on_

It felt like only yesterday that she'd been right here, standing next to me, laughing and hugging me, saying _I love you_. It still didn't feel real. It still didn't feel like she was gone.

_Adrift on your ocean floor_

_I feel weightless, numb, and sore_

_A part of you in me is torn_

_And you're free_

The part of her heart she'd given me, the part of her that lived in me, had been ripped to pieces. And now I felt like that: weightless, numb, and sore. But she was free.

_I woke from a dream last night_

_I dreamt that you were by my side_

_Reminding me I still had life_

_In me_

Last night, like every single night for the past two weeks, I'd dreamed of her. I'd dreamed that she'd never died, that she was still living, breathing. Still here with me.

_I remember you like yesterday, yesterday _

_I still can't believe you're gone, oh..._

_I remember you like yesterday, yesterday _

_And until I'm with you, I'll carry on_

Until I died, until I went up to heaven to be with her, I would carry on. For her.

_Every lament is a love song_

This lament _was _a love song. A love song for my dead love.

_Yesterday, yesterday_

_I still can't believe you're gone_

_Every lament is a love song_

_Yesterday, yesterday_

_Oh so long my friend, so long_

I closed my eyes when I finished the song. When I opened them again they were all looking at me. There were tears in my mother's eyes, and Mikayla's mom's. Everyone was crying.

I looked back up at the sky. _You're free, Mikayla. So long, my love. Until I'm with you, I'll carry on. _

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**I know, sad :( I'm sorry :( I hope you did like it, though. The song is _Yesterdays_ by Switchfoot, btw. I strongly recommend listening to it, it's such a beautiful song. **


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